Anti-minimalists, this story’s for you! In the slideshow above, you’ll find 17 pairs of wacky heels and flats—all inspired by not even remotely shoe-like things—that are the opposite of simple and streamlined. Feel free to wear each one with something equally twee, the way Zooey Deschanel might, or as a way to make a simple outfit feel more exciting—but either way, leave them at home if you want to blend in. These shoes will never, ever do that. Click through for quirky footwear overload.